December 22, 2006

Baby SEALs

Suppose that you are in charge of marketing for an athletic club whose membership, by and large, consists of white-collar professionals, many of them Microsofties. In other words, people who are fairly used to putting a positive spin on things, and won't necessarily blink at, for example, a gardener calling himself a "landscape artist". In addition, you think that many of the club's members are middle-aged men who pine for their by-gone youth, and are attracted to things that sound "hardcore" in some way. Even if it's only hardcore by proxy, through their children.

If you were in this position, you too might be tempted to advertise swimming lessons for kids as "Infant Aquatic Survival" classes. [No, really, I'm serious. I read it twice to make sure I wasn't missing something.]

Otherwise, what excuse could you have for picking a name that evokes images of children in their swim diapers [btw, if you follow that link ... "deadly E.coli ?" Which kid has "deadly E.coli" ?] dog-paddling around with their little toothless gums grimly clenched around serrated knives ?

I'm tempted to call the club and ask whether their "Infant Aquatic Survival" classes will teach kids to survive being attacked by a shark. 'Cause that's pretty much the most important "aquatic survival" skill to have ;-)   

December 05, 2006

All your (moon) base are belong to us...

When I hear this, all I can think of is

Dr.Evil: The moon unit will be divided into two divisions: Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa.

from that.